The end!

So I talked to the Oracle at Delphi and she figures I'm doing a-okay. Either that or I am gonna get eaten by a hydra tomorrow! You never can really tell with these cryptic mediums, can ya?

I am on the Island of Santorini and it might actually be the most beautiful place I have ever set foot on. You can't really go wrong with a deep blue sky overy white washed houses on the cliff of a sea-filled caldera, can ya? Today I was the only one on the so-called Red Beach and it was amazing. I know I'm a geek and all, but it really felt like a Martian landscape with the sheer red volcanic cliffs and the red sand.

Greece is absolutely beautiful, but the Fates have decided that getting to see Troy is not in my near future, as the bleedin' ferry schedules are not gonna work for me. Alas, we are at the whim of the gods, aren't we?!

All that means is that I'll have to come back, which I am more than willing to do. Although from the sounds of it, I'll be coming back alone, as my 'Classical Tid-bits' have not been so well received by a few of my readers (who would not be on board with a relatively brief historical overview of every single thing we'd see!). ;)

This also means that I am coming home three days early (and likely a long time before your postcards will arrive), so start pulling that Guinness! If you're in the area, the Fire Party is on for Dec 23rd!

Love you all and see some of you soon!

Thanks for reading my drivel. I hope you enjoyed it a little!

Master Jendu Hothu

all Greek to me

My last day in Cairo went off without incident cuz I had finally mastered the "feck off" glare and I was able to enjoy the sun setting over the Sphinx in relative peace.

And now I have made it to Greece and I absolutely love it! Athens is a beautiful city, albeit bloody freezing (how will I ever survive Edmonton?) and bloody expensive (damn the Euro!).

Just 24 hours after watching the sun set behind the pyramids, I got to see it again behind the Acropolis (how bleedin' cool is life?!). The Acropolis was pretty cool but, thus far, the big difference I have found between here and Egypt is that you are not permitted inside most of the structures here in Greece and that really takes some of the magic away for me. Additionally, there is so much reconstruction going on that there is sometimes more rebar and girders than there is marble. Having said all that, however, the Parthenon and especially the Erechtheion friggin' rocked. The Erechtheion is the sanctuary of Athena and Poseidon and (as I'm sure everyone remembers from their intro Classics course, right Lee?!) is the place where Athena and Poseidon squared off to see who the city would be named after. Athena produced an olive tree, thus kicking Poseidon's ass (cuz all he could muster after splitting the ground with his trident was a bleedin' horse), and ensuring that the capital of Greece was not Poseidon's.

Okay, okay, I'm sure I've bored you all to tears. Next stop was the Ancient Agora which was the main centre of Athens, where those toga clad Athenians would meet to hang or do business, and you could almost hear Socrates expounding on about something!

Tomorrow, I head to Delphi to see if the Oracle has any news for me, then on on to Mycenae (of Agamemnon/Clytaemnestra fame-okay, I won't go into any more history, but some of you might remember that those were the names of my fishes, and she ended up killing him. Coincidence? I think not! And yes, Clytaemnestra was the fish I performed the autopsy on).

I am having a little trouble getting used to this solo traveller thing. Today, I tried to set up my camera for a shot of me in front of the Parthenon and as I was waiting for it to take, a huge gust of wind almost took my camera over the wall. That photo will either be of the sky with maybe a bit of the Parthenon in the corner, or of my horrified face as I realise my camera is going over the 20 foot wall. Anybody who wants a copy of that 'keeper', let me know.

I hope everyone is doing well and getting ready for Christmas!

Love,

Jen

A-dri-enne

So, I am sitting on the steps of Luxor's finest hotel, minding my own business when a bunch of sedans and minivans pull up and important looking people get out to rush about frantically. One of the people, a Chinese woman in glowing garments, with big hair and equally big glasses, looks vaguely familiar to me, but I can't place her so I put her from my mind. I sorta felt like I was far too calm to be in the midst of all these rushers, so I got up to move and upon doing so, I noticed Canadian flags on all of the vehicles. Curiosity piqued, I told one of the lads (who was standing still for a second) that I was Canadian and asked him what was going. He got very excited and said "The Governor General of Canada is in this store, I'm sure she'd love to meet you.". Internal dialogue: "Shit Jen, remember our Governor General's name! Quickly!". So we go in and I shake hands with an older white chick, thinking "I don't know who the heck you are", when she turns to the woman beside her (whom I had been completely ignoring until then, and who turns out to be the Chinese woman I had seen earlier) and says "Jennifer, may I present the Right Honourable..blah, blah, blah". We feebly shake hands (she's feeble cuz she knows I'm an idiot who can't remember her name and I'm feeble cuz I know she knows I'm and idiot and can't remember her name) and I get on outa there. And thus ends my illustrious meeting with Adrienne Clarkson, Governor General and Commander-In-Chief of Canada. Of course, Aman showed up about 10 minutes later and said "Did you see Adrienne Clarkson?".

We are back in Cairo and are blowing all our money on shopping. Aman has bought a lot of jewellery!! I have had no proposals in about two days and am feeling a little low about myself!! There have unfortunately, been far too many occasions where feels have been copped! Very, very disturbing for such an innocent as me, I tell you!!! Aman has taken to performing body guard duties and walks one pace behind and one pace to the side of me looking very menacing with her dark glasses.

Luxor was amazing and overwhelming cuz there is so much to see. The Valley of the Kings, The Valley of the Queens, The Tombs of the Nobels, Luxor Temple, The Temples of Karnak, etc, etc... it is easy for a girl to get what they call "Pharaonic Phatique". This did happen to Aman on one occasion when (in some rather nice ruins of a Temple to Hathor-the Goddess of Love) she said, through clenched jaw, "Seen one temple, seen 'em all, Jen.".

The tombs were very cool, claustrophobic affairs with FULL COLOUR hieroglyphs, everywhere. We had seen some colour before, but nothing prepares you for beautifully painted scenes of gods, pharaohs, animals, food, you name it, all over the ceilings and walls. It was amazing. We did have one kind of Indiana Jones opportunity and failed miserably when we were far too scared to continue further than 10 feet into a very dark, creepy tunnel. Good thing I didn't go into Archaeology!!!

So now we're on our last day together before Aman heads back to Ghana and I head to Greece. Luckily, there is much more shopping to be done (in the biggest market I have ever seen)!

Hope you're all well.

Jen

The Empty Monty

I would like to say that I have taken all of your suggestions in to consideration regarding the avoidance of these lads and, although I have made a few breakthroughs, the marriage proposals keep pouring in. The most recent of which was from Aymen the Silversmith and included a caveat that I could live where ever I want while he stays in Egypt. Aman believes I can do better and must under no circumstances make any eye contact at all. So from now on, she can lead me around while I look at my feet.

One of my breakthroughs involved a certain individual named Monty and believe me when I say... All roads lead to Monty. We were in Aswan (an otherwise tranquil town right on the Nile and home to The Temple of Isis, the most magical temple I have even seen) minding our own business and trying to find a price on one of these cruises. We had been forewarned about Monty by the Kiwis so were leery of him to begin with and wanted to book somewhere that didn't involve him. Unfortunately that is impossible in Aswan as the man is absolutely everywhere. Every travel agent we went in to would call him and once he knew we were trying to circumvent him, he started to tail us. The psycho bleedin' followed us! He would stop at nothing to make a sale on one of his tours to anywhere in Egypt, so we just bleedin' booked with him to get him off our backs. Aman did get a chance to tell him off and she felt better, but his response was 'I am sorry but I am very stressed. Do you need a hotel in Luxor? I can get you a good price.' If I were to say that I needed to go to the bathroom, he would try to get a percentage on the toilet paper or even the water I used in the flush. Now I say I made a breakthrough cuz at least he didn't try to come on to me and I was so successful at showing him my disdain that he only talked to Aman.

Luckily the cruise took our minds off The Monty. This was what ya call livin' outside your means, people!!! I don't think I have ever eaten so well in my life (I am still too full a day later) and our cabin had two bathrooms (that is ONE each!!). So what if the beers were the same price as a room in the hotel we are staying at now, they had chocolate mousse for dessert!!! The crew were very nice for the most part (although a few of them knew we were interlopers and should be treated accordingly) and one of the waiters even brought me a list of English words he had written in his matchbook to check his pronunciation. There were, unfortunately a few occasions where Aman and I had some trouble adapting to how the other half live. One in particular involved a certain Oriental Night in which the cruisers dressed up as Egyptians (who, to my knowledge, are not oriental) for a dinner and a dance. Now neither Aman or I had gotten the memo about the costumes and the look on our faces when we entered the dining room was one of shock and dismay and then complete empathetic embarrassment as they all started to dance together. It was one of those instances where I really wish I had a video camera cuz I am sure the memory of it will haunt me forever but if I could actually see it again I might be able to get over it. It was a surreal experience and definitely worth the $55US a night.

We are back in budget land again in Luxor, home of the Valley of the Kings, the Temples of Luxor, and a whole embarrassment of riches. Life is good!!!

I hope you're all well.

Love,

Jen

Ah...Jen...when will you learn?

Well, we survived the desert and although there were no camels (except for a baby one that sorta resembled a hairy embryo on four legs), I did run into some trouble with another Egyptian laddie!

First off, the White Desert is by far one of the most tranquil, beautiful, stunning, romantic places I've ever been in my life. It consists of a beige sandy floor covering the bases of and flowing around huge calcitic (chalk-like) monoliths of many different shapes. The structures were formed by wind erosion as the wind picked up the sand and basically made a natural sand paper effect on the rocks. We were lucky enough to have a full moon on our night sleeping under the stars and by the moonlight the desert looked like an arctic or lunar landscape. It friggin' rocked and I wanted to stay much longer.

We hooked up with two Kiwi gals (gotta love the flightless, nocturnal birds) and an American for the trip and had a friggin' blast. The trouble came when, of course unbeknownst to me, our guide Shaban took some sorta liking to me and it wasn't until later speculation about his actions did I realise how creepy he really was. We all slept in a row, but I was at the end, so he moved his mattress beside mine, and then every time I tried to roll over he would be looking at me, and THEN he kept tapping me. I seriously thought this was all innocent and that maybe he just wanted to make sure I was still there under my fourteen blankets (it was COLD in the desert), but after a lot of retrospect his true lecherousness became apparent. Of course, this was after I had given him my e-mail address. What am I, 13 years old???!

So, there you have it...my luck with the Egyptian men continues!!! Luckily I was too stupid to realise what was going on at the time so it didn't detract from my wonderful time.

We have gotten the heck outa Cairo and are way down south in Aswan now. Maybe I'll do a little better here.

Love ya all.

Jen

Pyramids and Scams!

After two full days in Cairo, I sorta feel as though I've established a feel for the place. I have learned some very hard lessons about trust!!

The first night I got here I was alone and was befriended by a man named Sam who claimed I was part of his family cuz he has a friend who used to live in Toronto. The next thing I know, I am in his tour agency drinking mint tea and talking to the friend on the phone (he is telling me that I should never trust Egyptian men). Suddenly I find myself in a cab with Sam heading to some far off duty free store so I can boot for him cuz (and I'm gonna blame it on my jet-lagged stupor and my Canadian-ness) I had just agreed to use my passport to get the guy liquor and smokes (which are unavailable to Egyptians at that price).

Now, of course I realise that the people here are just trying to make or save money and I likely have more money to spare than they do, but at the same time, I will admit to getting a little pissy when finding out that I paid 4 times what I could have paid! It is entirely my fault for not educating myself and it really is all part of the experience, but you'd think I'd be a little more savvy. For example, if a rather nice looking lad claiming to be a doctor of botanical research at the National Museum walks up to you and tells you the museum is closed until 11:30 so you'd be better off going to the bazaar for a while cuz they are having a sale (his wife and daughter are going to be there too!!!), you'd think some bells might go off saying that 'maybe there wouldn't be a botanist working at a museum dealing solely with antiquities'. But no, we let the guy show us to the 'government' store, assured him we would definitely come visit him in his museum office, and proceeded to buy the bleedin' place out (convinced that we were saving a bundle!!!). The moral of this story: never trust a botanist!

Now don't get me wrong, Aman and I are having a blast, but we have found that we need to readjust our personalities a little (okay, maybe only I have to readjust cuz Aman has adopted a full on Zen attitude about everything).

We thought we'd start things off big, so yesterday we went to the Giza Plateau to check out the only surviving Wonder of the Ancient World. The Pyramids were humblingly huge and very claustrophobic inside. It is unfathomable to me that they have been around for over 4500 years. We were able to go in the biggest one (for the Pharaoh Cheops) and were treated to a very steep and long climb up a passageway about the size of a TV only to find pretty much nothing at the top! Still, you gotta go inside, don't ya? Even if your thighs are really paying for it today!!! We also went to see the first pyramid ever made, called the Step Pyramid, at a site called Saqqara). There were far fewer people so it was a much more serene experience.

My favourite part of Giza was trying to convince one of the local salesmen that there were indeed fossils in the rocks. Even after I showed them to him he kept telling me "No animals, lady, only rocks." and he was even more incredulous when I tried to explain (as we stand in the middle of the desert) that these were marine animals so these rocks were originally in the ocean. Ah... the tough life of a paleontologist!

Today (after an expensive detour to the 'government' shop) we made it to the National Museum and were treated to an overwhelming array of artifacts. There were so many things stuffed in that building that it was hard to really see any of it. All of the stuff from Tutankhamen's tomb (including his death mask and tonnes of jewelry) was very well preserved and really cool. I went in to the Royal Mummy Room alone, as Aman refused and was in a state of interest, mixed with disbelief and a little of the heebie geebies if I stared too long at the faces of these long dead kings and queens.

Tomorrow we are heading into the desert for three days where I am likely to die of APC (or Asphyxiation due to Proximity to Camels), so I'll let you know how that goes!

Love y'all!

J

Lilliputian Dinos!

I'm a zombie wandering around the Vienna airport at 5AM after the 12 hour flight from Bangkok. The flight was okay. I was pretty frickin' excited that I got my own TV with many movie choices, but as it turned out, the movie options weren't great, except for a Dinosaur Planet show about an 80 million year old Pyroraptor from southern Europe that gets swept away to an island inhabited by dwarf dinos. It was very Gulliver's Travels!!! The big downside of the flight was my neighbours. First there was the unbelievably loud talker behind me. I was very pleased when she finally fell asleep...until I realised that she is a bleedin' sleep-kicker! Then there was the older gentleman next to me...despite the fact that he had a bladder of steal (the man did not go to the bathroom once-in 12 hours!), there was one point where he jumped in his sleep, hit my arm and made me spill my water all over myself! I was a little too tired to really care (truthfully, I was too into the Pyroraptor!) and he didn't even bleedin' wake up! So between the kicker and the jumper it was quite an interesting flight. Hence my state of torpor.

Okay, kind of another boring update...but that is just cuz I haven't really done anything yet!!! You should all be very thankful that I don't have enough time left on this computer to go into great detail about the Pyroraptor!!!

Love you all,

Jen

...and the world's your oyster

Good afternoon and welcome to our first official update!

I arrived in Bangkok on Saturday night and after being picked up at the airport by my big bro, we preceeded directly to the pub for a few pints (in true Duffy fashion)!

Today is my last day in Thailand and I have spent my time here just hangin out. I saw a very bad movie in the theatre yesterday, Ladder 49. My apologies to the few of you who might have enjoyed it (Leah!) but in my humble opinion it kinda sucked the big one!

WARNING: I'm gonna blather on about soccer for this whole paragraph...

Last night I was treated to what could have been a beautiful personal moment and huge triumph for Canadian Women's soccer. The Under-19 World Cup is being held in Thailand and Canada was actually one of the favourites (after losing 1-0 in extra time to the bleedin US in the final of last U-19 World Cup). Canada was playing China in one of the Quarter Finals. Our team is actually pretty good although it is not beautiful football by any stretch of the imagination. Anyhow, I said 'could have been' a beautiful personal moment and huge truimph for Canadian Women's soccer cuz it is pretty friggin' difficult for a team to win after their goalkeeper gets red-carded and gives up a penalty for taking down a Chinese striker in the box in the first minute of the game. Yeah, the first minute!!! I was bleedin' in shock. So they lost 3-1 and then had a big cry afterward. It was all very sad. On a more exciting note, in the other Quarter Final of the night, Brazil scored a wonderful header in the last second of regulation time against Germany and went on to beat them 4-2 in extra time! That was pretty.

OKAY, FOOTBALL DRIVEL OVER!

Well, that is my update-my day consisted of a movie about nothing and a lot of unluckiness on the pitch. One night in Bangkok!!! If you are in fact still reading, you are defintely to be commended.

I head to Vienna tonight and then off to Cairo where things shall get much more exciting (unless of course I witness another football match, in which case you shall all be subject to some more highly detailed football talk!!!).

I hope you're all well.

Jen