The Empty Monty

I would like to say that I have taken all of your suggestions in to consideration regarding the avoidance of these lads and, although I have made a few breakthroughs, the marriage proposals keep pouring in. The most recent of which was from Aymen the Silversmith and included a caveat that I could live where ever I want while he stays in Egypt. Aman believes I can do better and must under no circumstances make any eye contact at all. So from now on, she can lead me around while I look at my feet.

One of my breakthroughs involved a certain individual named Monty and believe me when I say... All roads lead to Monty. We were in Aswan (an otherwise tranquil town right on the Nile and home to The Temple of Isis, the most magical temple I have even seen) minding our own business and trying to find a price on one of these cruises. We had been forewarned about Monty by the Kiwis so were leery of him to begin with and wanted to book somewhere that didn't involve him. Unfortunately that is impossible in Aswan as the man is absolutely everywhere. Every travel agent we went in to would call him and once he knew we were trying to circumvent him, he started to tail us. The psycho bleedin' followed us! He would stop at nothing to make a sale on one of his tours to anywhere in Egypt, so we just bleedin' booked with him to get him off our backs. Aman did get a chance to tell him off and she felt better, but his response was 'I am sorry but I am very stressed. Do you need a hotel in Luxor? I can get you a good price.' If I were to say that I needed to go to the bathroom, he would try to get a percentage on the toilet paper or even the water I used in the flush. Now I say I made a breakthrough cuz at least he didn't try to come on to me and I was so successful at showing him my disdain that he only talked to Aman.

Luckily the cruise took our minds off The Monty. This was what ya call livin' outside your means, people!!! I don't think I have ever eaten so well in my life (I am still too full a day later) and our cabin had two bathrooms (that is ONE each!!). So what if the beers were the same price as a room in the hotel we are staying at now, they had chocolate mousse for dessert!!! The crew were very nice for the most part (although a few of them knew we were interlopers and should be treated accordingly) and one of the waiters even brought me a list of English words he had written in his matchbook to check his pronunciation. There were, unfortunately a few occasions where Aman and I had some trouble adapting to how the other half live. One in particular involved a certain Oriental Night in which the cruisers dressed up as Egyptians (who, to my knowledge, are not oriental) for a dinner and a dance. Now neither Aman or I had gotten the memo about the costumes and the look on our faces when we entered the dining room was one of shock and dismay and then complete empathetic embarrassment as they all started to dance together. It was one of those instances where I really wish I had a video camera cuz I am sure the memory of it will haunt me forever but if I could actually see it again I might be able to get over it. It was a surreal experience and definitely worth the $55US a night.

We are back in budget land again in Luxor, home of the Valley of the Kings, the Temples of Luxor, and a whole embarrassment of riches. Life is good!!!

I hope you're all well.

Love,

Jen

Ah...Jen...when will you learn?

Well, we survived the desert and although there were no camels (except for a baby one that sorta resembled a hairy embryo on four legs), I did run into some trouble with another Egyptian laddie!

First off, the White Desert is by far one of the most tranquil, beautiful, stunning, romantic places I've ever been in my life. It consists of a beige sandy floor covering the bases of and flowing around huge calcitic (chalk-like) monoliths of many different shapes. The structures were formed by wind erosion as the wind picked up the sand and basically made a natural sand paper effect on the rocks. We were lucky enough to have a full moon on our night sleeping under the stars and by the moonlight the desert looked like an arctic or lunar landscape. It friggin' rocked and I wanted to stay much longer.

We hooked up with two Kiwi gals (gotta love the flightless, nocturnal birds) and an American for the trip and had a friggin' blast. The trouble came when, of course unbeknownst to me, our guide Shaban took some sorta liking to me and it wasn't until later speculation about his actions did I realise how creepy he really was. We all slept in a row, but I was at the end, so he moved his mattress beside mine, and then every time I tried to roll over he would be looking at me, and THEN he kept tapping me. I seriously thought this was all innocent and that maybe he just wanted to make sure I was still there under my fourteen blankets (it was COLD in the desert), but after a lot of retrospect his true lecherousness became apparent. Of course, this was after I had given him my e-mail address. What am I, 13 years old???!

So, there you have it...my luck with the Egyptian men continues!!! Luckily I was too stupid to realise what was going on at the time so it didn't detract from my wonderful time.

We have gotten the heck outa Cairo and are way down south in Aswan now. Maybe I'll do a little better here.

Love ya all.

Jen

Pyramids and Scams!

After two full days in Cairo, I sorta feel as though I've established a feel for the place. I have learned some very hard lessons about trust!!

The first night I got here I was alone and was befriended by a man named Sam who claimed I was part of his family cuz he has a friend who used to live in Toronto. The next thing I know, I am in his tour agency drinking mint tea and talking to the friend on the phone (he is telling me that I should never trust Egyptian men). Suddenly I find myself in a cab with Sam heading to some far off duty free store so I can boot for him cuz (and I'm gonna blame it on my jet-lagged stupor and my Canadian-ness) I had just agreed to use my passport to get the guy liquor and smokes (which are unavailable to Egyptians at that price).

Now, of course I realise that the people here are just trying to make or save money and I likely have more money to spare than they do, but at the same time, I will admit to getting a little pissy when finding out that I paid 4 times what I could have paid! It is entirely my fault for not educating myself and it really is all part of the experience, but you'd think I'd be a little more savvy. For example, if a rather nice looking lad claiming to be a doctor of botanical research at the National Museum walks up to you and tells you the museum is closed until 11:30 so you'd be better off going to the bazaar for a while cuz they are having a sale (his wife and daughter are going to be there too!!!), you'd think some bells might go off saying that 'maybe there wouldn't be a botanist working at a museum dealing solely with antiquities'. But no, we let the guy show us to the 'government' store, assured him we would definitely come visit him in his museum office, and proceeded to buy the bleedin' place out (convinced that we were saving a bundle!!!). The moral of this story: never trust a botanist!

Now don't get me wrong, Aman and I are having a blast, but we have found that we need to readjust our personalities a little (okay, maybe only I have to readjust cuz Aman has adopted a full on Zen attitude about everything).

We thought we'd start things off big, so yesterday we went to the Giza Plateau to check out the only surviving Wonder of the Ancient World. The Pyramids were humblingly huge and very claustrophobic inside. It is unfathomable to me that they have been around for over 4500 years. We were able to go in the biggest one (for the Pharaoh Cheops) and were treated to a very steep and long climb up a passageway about the size of a TV only to find pretty much nothing at the top! Still, you gotta go inside, don't ya? Even if your thighs are really paying for it today!!! We also went to see the first pyramid ever made, called the Step Pyramid, at a site called Saqqara). There were far fewer people so it was a much more serene experience.

My favourite part of Giza was trying to convince one of the local salesmen that there were indeed fossils in the rocks. Even after I showed them to him he kept telling me "No animals, lady, only rocks." and he was even more incredulous when I tried to explain (as we stand in the middle of the desert) that these were marine animals so these rocks were originally in the ocean. Ah... the tough life of a paleontologist!

Today (after an expensive detour to the 'government' shop) we made it to the National Museum and were treated to an overwhelming array of artifacts. There were so many things stuffed in that building that it was hard to really see any of it. All of the stuff from Tutankhamen's tomb (including his death mask and tonnes of jewelry) was very well preserved and really cool. I went in to the Royal Mummy Room alone, as Aman refused and was in a state of interest, mixed with disbelief and a little of the heebie geebies if I stared too long at the faces of these long dead kings and queens.

Tomorrow we are heading into the desert for three days where I am likely to die of APC (or Asphyxiation due to Proximity to Camels), so I'll let you know how that goes!

Love y'all!

J